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stories biography escapes archives


Overview


Hello, my name is PAINTING. I really LOVE MUSIC. I love TV DRAMAS especially with HAPPY ENDING.

Screams



Melody


Ayaka - Okaeri.mp3 -

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11.19.2005
wow..
three weeks was really fast.
just one blink of eye,everything will be over.


i have done nth much this few weeks,
it's boring.

i have been so busy this week.



i heaven had a good rest.
i slept 3-4 hours a day only..
this continue for 5days..



i m exhasted.
too tired to walk anymore.


my journey wasnt a smooth one,
in fact,
it is a tough,difficult journey.



everyone thought that i was a carefree gal,
relax,
like to joke often,
play like siao.


BUT


did anyone know my true self?


hardly i guess.

NO ONE.

NOT EVEN ONE.


NOT EVEN MY BEST FRIEND.


why?
why?

tell me anyone?

it is not other ppl or my frenz's fault.
and i m not trying to blame them

it's ALL ME.
why i juz couldnt share with them?
i juz cannot bring myself to tell them my troubles.


this is ME,
i m selfish.
stupid
idiotic.

i dunno why..


all my troubles semms to have pile up to the extreme of me.
i 'm afraid i couldnt take it anymore.
and there is no one to help me.


i have always wanted to act brave.
so that my frenz wun worry abt me.


i have done it right,friends?
100 marks for me.


i shld be happy,
i have done it.

but why the more i tried to be brave,
the weaker i became?

anyone gives me a correct answer?



i have been staring at my celling everyday when i was going to slp.
i cant get to slp..
that's y i stayed until so late every night.

i have been thinking what i shld do,
accept the fact?
or
i shld juz dream of him in my heart ONLY.
not in real life.


i dun wish to imagine things to be real nowsdays.

it's all fake.
this is the world.


tell me,
wat is real?

dun ever tell me TRUE LOVE.
i believe it very much in the past,
but i have learn to be clever,
TRUE LOVE NV NV NV exisit in MY LIFE.


FAKE
LIES
only this 2 exisit in my life.

pathetic.

wat to do?
i 'll juz accept it.
i m jinx.



no one know wat i was looking for...


best in subject?
top in class?
top in whole level?
best results?


that may seems wat i always wanted.

but it were not.


i was looking for u,
but u dun seems to cum back to my life.

since this is the case,
i wil juz forget u.


promise me,
dun give me any chance to think of u,

mabbe love, is not for our age yet.
i wil let go..