haix.
mood down to the max.


i m just so down.
my bro was right.
he said i was too narrow.
only noe how to study blindly.
ALWAYS dunno how to react fast and smart.

i always dun believe la.
and think that my method of studying was right.

only now den i realise,
i was wrong la.

i cant even answer a simple..
and i mean it. it's really a SIMPLE Q&A.
i was dumb can.

i stood there.
totally stunned.
i just spoke 2 sentences.
ah. i was very disappointed in myself.
DISAPPOINTED.

the worst thing was, i did prepare my quest the day before.
it's just that my teacher phrase it in another way..
and i could not ans.

What is this?

see. i am just not flexible.
ah.
why am i like this..
soooo stupid.

stupid.
stupid.
stupid.

ahh.
and how to becum more flexible in just this few days.
i really dunno.

i have been thinking it all day and night.
i cant even get to slp lar.

stupid PW.
stupid PYT.

oh yeah!
sch holiday already..

but yar. things wun just go so smoothly like that..
of cz, my kiasu sch is holding up classes after our supposed to be "sch holiday".
and..we r only getting back our results on the 7.11. haha. seven-eleven!
so cute.
it's been like so long after promos..and we still need to wait for another week b4 the results is being release..

and i seriously hope that everyone is my class can be promoted.
i believe they will!!! =)
dun worry so much guys!

yar.
went back to sch for op rehearsal today.
oh man. i dunno if i m still speaking fast.
cz i tried to slow down already..the teachers still complained that i spoke too fast.
phew.tml go sch and try again.

ahhh.
i have been spending a lot recently.
woosh. bought many clothes online.
haha. should be safe la.
dun worry guys. online blogshop can be trusted.
cause u think the people will cheat u on just 10++ or 20++ dollars?
hahax. tat's what my bro told me..

so, i went bankrupt.
gonna hit $100 already.
hehex. for CNY la.
so should be just nice.
yeah!
100bucks for 6 pieces leh!
hmmm. this has convinced myself that i m not spending too much actually.
oppsx! haha.

op nx wed.
and i hope i can get the right question for Q&A.
if i can ans well for that...
probably can get EE!
i hope so la!!!
jiayou!

hmm.
so sian.
dunno what to do.
so i have been watching tv nowadays.
hahahahha.
and i wan to recommend the show on channel8 9pm.
bu fan de ai.
i dunno why..whenever i watch the show..
i will feel damn sad!
cause i have dreamt about it.
therefore, it's like sooo real to me.
and i m scare..
=(
but seriously..
if u are contracted with the diesase, and u know that u r going to die in just 2/3 yrs..
how are u going to survive during this period of time?
will u be enjoying everyday happily( u need a lot of courage to be like this..) or just waiting for death to come knocking on ur doors?
it's quite scary isnt it?
eeeew.
hence, i m looking forward to watch the show everyday..!
hmm. u guys can watch too!
so that more ppl can discuss the plot with me..haha.
=))
rmb..Bu Fan De Ai ok! hehe.

alright.
back to sch tml.

had memo my script already..
but u noe..stage fright!
sure will forget everything.
therefore, i will bring along my cue cards..just In Case.
haha.

my few days were not fun except that my bro was back then.
hahax.
and i have been reading Straits Times!
can u imagine how bored i was!!
read Straits Times to kill time..hahax.
and i think my gp teacher sure hope that i remain bored for the rest for my jc life.
so that i can read more..and improve my english!

and seriously..i think i sound weird in English.
dont u guys feel so~~~
eeeeew.
but i have no choice!
hehex.

hope i can get a easy quest for Q&A.
cause i really cannot answer any questions immediately.
i sure freak out!
not only that,my "Singlish", hor, la,leh,meh..will all 'come out'.
=_= hehex. my weakness.

yar.
get so bored at home.
any activities,games,books that are nice or interesting, please introduce to me!

oh no.
break from sch again!
thurs to nx tue.
and wed is my op exam! wow.
time flies.
i cant wait to finish my last exam for jc1.
yar.
really happy to clear every exams!
WOW.
it's worth celebrating isnt it?
hehex.

and heading for jc2 in just a few months time.
wah. going to reach 18.
soooo fast.
and guess what? i m still playing with my Winnie the Pooh every night b4 i sleep.
=__=
ah. i wonder when will i grow up..
hmm. mentally and physically TOO!!
=X
hahax.
hope to grow vertically up!
my bday wish.

alright.
shall search and dig out any fun movie to watch..
Kungfu Panda!

all the best for op!
jiayou painting!
(though oil nowadays is inflating, but it's still worth to add some on me..)
=_=
tat's just a joke. yeah.


sometimes, i just envy many ppl who have a whole lot of frens with them always.
any problems?troubles?worries? they will always be with them.
and when they are happy..there's still ppl to share their happiness.
that's really very fortunate ah.
and i wonder, am i fortunate too?

yup.
i wanna thank my mom for taking out her precious time to actually help me to "deliver" my olvl cert and COLOUR photo to sch..

it's all because of my application form.
kanna rejected. =_=
3 of us, seehiang,darren and me.
we were like... >< how ah?how ah?how ah?
and the stupid thing is..we stood outside GO and said that..
we even stood there and stone for awhile before realising that we are embarrassing ourselves.
=_=
smart right.

in addition to that..we din even see that there's a nid to CAPS our words.
-__-
ah. den we got to cancel everything and re-write la.
lucky me and seehiang used caps for some sections.
so we no nid to cancel so much...erm..unlike someone...who i dun wan to mention name..
hahax.


so i went to certify my cert..
and i brought along their forms too..
i pleaded the uncle using my sweetest voice....
HAHHAHAHA! and he said.."next time cannot ah.."
woosh. cheng gong! haha.
xi shen wo de mei se you know!!
(i said that to so many people..why none of them believe me! HAHA.)
oh fine..give u guys 1 min to go toilet and vomit.
OHHHH.. poor me.WAHAHHAA.
=P

but ya. i realised smth.
i din attached my medical record.
haha. the funny thing is..they wan the latest record...
and i think..the latest one i have...is when i was 3 or 4 yrs old.
=___=
haix. die lah. X_X

i wan to say..THE PRESENTER WAS FUN.
fri's op rehearsal, my grp tried to use the presenter..
seriously, it was fun la..haha.
but we r not gg to use it as we r going to hold our cue cards that day too..
then, it will be so clumsyy.
hehex.
stayed back in sch for a while after sch,
i was the accessor for serene's grp that day.
keep making faces at them..trying to make them laugh..
wahhahaaaa. ask them stupid questions too!
fun. hehe.
and i saw my op vid.
i looked retarded. oh man.
i tot i presented quite well...hand gesture was fine..
but the video turned out to be....the opposite!
i looked so damn stupid.
=__= and my hand gesture was not "big" enough i think..
so looked very nervous.
and i spoke quite fast i think..
cant blame me! i got a lot to cover..sad..
speak slow sure "over run"..

oh yar,
my brother was back.
and he will go off tml.
so fast hor..
but..he will be back again on fri.
so fast hor..
HAHA.
lame shit.

nth to do!!
except for pw.

this week is the turning point in my life.
cause i have already decided to grab the chance to apply for H3 program.
i know i do not have the capability and of cause, i m way not up to the standard!!!
it should be for those who are really clever...
when i told my dad, he asked me to cherish the chance, dun give up before you even start working for it.

and ya.
i reflected thoroughly.
i should not give up this chance..
as i have already given up my chance of getting into temasek junior college earlier this yr.
cz i think i dun have the capability.


i m a girl with no confident, my dad said.
dun give up this 2nd chance for u to shine.

and even if i failed in the end,
i believed that my dad will still be proud of me.
at least, i am able to walk out of my comfort zone and try smth challenging.

well.
see the hope my dad has for me?
so i decided to give it a try.

we know that getting the scholarship is way too far for me,
but it is the experience that counts.

i believe that this program shall stretch my limit to the max,
and allow me to discovered a new yanting which i have never know.

however,
after talking so much crap,
I STILL DUNNO THERE ARE WHICH SUBJECTS AVAILABLE FOR ME TO CHOOSE!?!?!
=_=

and i m still deciding if i shld take chem or maths.
shall go and consult my chem teacher tml for her comments.


enough of that,
i m sick. =_=
and i went to see the doctor in the early in the morning.
i think my mum had a hard time waking me up.
very sick. fever,sore throat,cough,flu...
wasnt feeling good,
so i din went to sch..

and i missed my op rehearsal.
shit.
less practices for me...
op is the worst part of pw lah..
cz my english is...damn....lousy!
i cant speak!! =_=
i need more practices...!!
so, i will still go sch tml for pw..
hehe. i m such a good girl.

yeah!
one week already.
my bro coming back home soon..

ah..i m just soooo sian at home la.
computer nth to play..
msn not fun talking...
nv go out...
tv not nice....

haix.
so i could only do pw all day.
almost everyday do pw la..
first is rush wr, i & r, op slide, op script, individual plan..prac op..
ah..full of all this..

boring lo.
lucky i m going out with family today.
woosh.
though it doesnt sound fun..but i still look forward to it..
yeah.

hmmm.
yar.
last week,
my family..w/o my bro of cz..
went to ikea! woosh.
my first time there..HAHA..a bit sua ku i noe..
but v happy.
v long nv go out tgt..
and we went there to buy Computer table!
becz my hse is going to "make-over" during nov.
so throw away old stuff and get new one..yeah! finally.
re-paint the hse.
and painting is going to paint the hse.
isnt that cool.
haha.

and the computer table is the damn cheap one..<$100 cz is my bro choose one b4 he left for ns.
he saw the white colour one in the magazine..
but he din noe that there's 4 more other colours..
black blue pink brown white.
my mum and i love the pink one at first sight!
BUT....if my bro is there..he sure kill us one..
haha. i was so good lo..for his sake, i ask my mum to buy the blue one..
haha. when we were abt to find the blue table..oppsx.
OUT OF STOCK.
oppppsxxx. too bad lah..fated..haha..so we bought the pink one..HAHA
we bought a couple of things there too!! ah..MIRROR.
i wanted to buy the $29 mirror..but it's too long..cant put into my uncle's car..
so sad..so i bought the smaller one..it's only $9.90..people..it's damn worst..
can consider buying.
hehe.

after tat..went gaint..bought a lot of food back.
and i wanted to buy cheese cake!!!!
but my mum say got the dunno what disease..EEK.
so cannot buy.
i wanted to buy oreal..( did i spell tat correctly? i also dunno.)
but also cannot!

yar.
tat's abt it.
hmmm.
got back promos.
damn disappointed in phy.
FLUNKED.
haha.
got a S. oh man.
so ugly.
haha. hope can be pulled up to E.
got E i happy liao.
geog also disappointed.
spend so long studying.
zzzz. alright la.
just hope that i dun get a C after adding in my common test marks.. =_= i failed both.
BUT BUT.
i got a damn big surprise for gp.
this is the first time i did so well! omg.
it's SO SHOCKING!!! serious.
i am damn happy also.
got 25 for compo and 31 for compre.
wah. my aq got 6/8. oh man. miracle..
dun you guys think so?
HAHHAHAAA.
for maths and chem..
still ok..hope chem mcq get 32! but..it's damn diff lah. cz i left many ques blank.
but it's ok..i m satisified.

and was miracle happened again lah..
got top 5% in sch?
actually i dunno one..is my fren told me..
i tot that list in the notice board is those who score well for maths only.
din noe that it's top5%.
but i think they based on mid yr results lah...
cz my promos was...just average. i even flunk phy leh.
yup.
was happy too!
hope i can maintain this results in j2 also..
my wish la..! haha!
=)
yeah. bro coming home 6days later..!!
cant wait to see if his hair have grown.HAHA

hey yar.
din went to sch today.
haha. i was clever to choose today as many claimed that it's SUPER DUPER BORING.
it's talks and talks and talks.
haha.

today is a very sad day.
becz my bro went for NS to learn to transform from a boy to a man..
( tat's their SAF/BMTC mission or motto la..i cant rmb..)
i bet my whole family just cant bear to leave him..
including me..
tat's why i took my day off from sch today to send him off...
=) i m damnnnn good right..haha. (main purpose is to have a "SOLID" reason to skip sch.)

yar.
cant bear to leave him..so i took quite some photos of his..
to hope to look at it when i am bored..
as i think i will have a good laugh when viewing the pics.
shall post some up later.hehex.

woke up every early..to get prepared to go oversea..pulau tekong.
the past few days b4 he left, i really spend my time around him..for the last moment.
(which he claimed i was DAMN IRRITATING and SCOLDED me..)
talk crap with him..and have our lame and idiotic chat b4 we slept.
and the sad thing is..I wont have anyone to talk to from tonight onwards..
haix.

finally,we set off to tekong.
with my whole family plus my aunt and grandpa.
unfortunatelly, my grandpa isnt feeling well and vomit during the journey.
so he took taxi home and left us first.

after that,
we took FERRY to tekong.
that was my first ferry trip.
and i tell u..it's really damn dizzy...~
seasick! serious..
the ferry kept shaking,moving,turning.
i just dont like it very much.
hahax.
finally, we reached the place and my bro left us..
at that point, i was really damn sad..esp when u see ur bro walking to the right and we are going to the left.
seperation really hurts.
i kept saying byebye la..but dunno if my bro actually heard it..cz he nv turned his head to look at me...maybe only once out of my many scream.

yar.
and..
really..the service there was damn good.
let us sit in air con bus to "tour" around the whole campus.
and i really wonder if they do this to the ns men a not..
my dad said, they r just putting up a show to let us feel secured.
=_= haha.poor ns man.

yar..just tour and tour and tour..
after a few hours, we finally get to meet my bro again! wow.
for our last dinner tgt.
and i was surprise! the dinner there today was DAMN NICE!
it's western food with BIG BIG BIG chickens which taste like KFC, and fries, and cambell soup, apple juice, baked beans, veggie, fruits.
"WAH..gor,not bad ar..u finally got nice dinner liao..better den mama's.."
" they fake one la..my frens said the food like shit. they putting up show today for parents mah.."
hahax.
oh well. den..tat's too bad la..just eat lo..how will it ever be as bad as mum's...OPPSX. jkjk.

and yar. it's sayonara's time.
it's so fast la.
my dad just went to return the untensils, and return back, he's gone!
"i haven say byebye to him leh.."my dad said..looking around to search for him and took a last view.

and as usual..
i kept BYEBYEBYEBYEBYE to him..which made him irritated again.
and took some shots of him.
tat moment..really feel like crying la.
cz nv in my life, my family members have left me for more den..5days or a week?
just couldnt get used to it.
though it's only 2weeks, but i bet..it will be the longest 2 wks i have nv been through..
and serious..no1 crap with me,scold me, shout at me,play with me,laugh with me again..
omg..this is gg to last for 2mths.
i think i will becum very quiet person..
so dun be surprise if nx time yt dun joke ok!

den,we left.
took ferry back again..which i almost fainted.
hahax.

yar.
tat's abt it.
and i hope my bro quickly come back..
my whole family will miss him.

he just called back just now!
and he didnt change at all..
wan us to talk very fast..so that he can save his phone bill and save his battery..
=_=
oh well. tat's just him.my brother.
=)

PAINTING. :-)
I JUST WISH THAT MY PARENTS N BRO ARE ALWAYS HEALTHY.
IT'S JUST SO SIMPLE.
i love SINGING! cause i'm SINGaporean.