2nd day after friday-tat fateful day...still cannot forget wat happen...it is alady after 24h,i still keep thinking of it.Everytime i thought of it,i will still wanna cry....mabbe crying is not the best solution but at least i will feel better after crying.nobody understand wat i m feeling now,no matter how u say:"it's okay,dun worry,he dun mind to scold u" i will onli feel happy for tat 1 min,but after tat i will feel sad again.nobody noe the feeling,nobody had ever experience it b4.for tat moment chew scolded mi,my brain froze.i was so scared,esp the 2nd time he asked mi to play,i get more nervous than the 1st time....tell u the truth,my brain is really freezing at the moment.FREEZING~the last time i had this feeling is when i m in pri2.from young,when i m very nervous,scare,my brain will feel lyk freezing den i will feel lyk fainting.Nobody noe i have this kind of illness.so when chew ask mi to play the 2nd time,i really feel lyk fainting.head painful,giddy.this is the 1st time i feel tat my brain is freezing after 6yrs.hahax...dunno wat to do then...

i still feel very bad today.....chew scolding mi image keep on flashing in my mind....dunno y keep thinking of it...haix...sianx...although i m not as angry as ytd,i m still very disappointed in chew.i guess he is oso very disappointed in mi....m i wrong to purposely dun play for him?wat m i suppose to do den?so confuse....i cant face him in band anymore.i will get more nervous when he call mi to play infront of him n the whole band.i alady lose all my confidence ytd...so when he ask mi to play again,will it be worst den ytd?will he scold mi again....i realli feel very scare to go band....when he conduct the band,can i skip?muz i do tat 4ever?i haf alady done my best to play,cos i m veri nervous so keep on playing the wrong thing.i dont want tat to happen too...y cant chew thought of our feeling?is he realli tat selfish?he onli noe how to scold ppl,but had nv thought of others feeling!i tried my best to 4got wat he scold mi,but i juz cant 4get it in the time being....gib mi more time,i will try my best to 4get it....also,can any1 tell mi if i still love band,love my horn?i really confuse... :(

yesterday was e worst day in my life.This is the first time i got scolded by my band conductor infront of the whole band....At tat moment i was very angry wif him,REALLY ANGRY.feel lyk quiting band.i feel lyk an extra in my band...i haf the most problems,allergy to silver,band uniform to small.now,i even got scolded by my conductor,i c no point to stay in the band.In order not to let my frenz worry abt mi,i force my tears to go back to my eyes.At nite,i realli could not stand all the pressure n stress around mi le,i hide in my blanket n cried softly(not to let my family noe).when i was on my way home wif my frenz,i feel sad and really feel lyk crying out.but infront of my frenz,i still smile @ them,fake smile...Then when i reach home,i am alady in very bad mood le.My stupid brother still comes and irritate mi and my mum still blame mi for not watching the washing machine for her....so depress....actualli i haf been wanting to quit band since 2004,cos my lips is allergy to 'dirty' thing and my lips oso got problems after i haf play my instru...really irritating......i dunno wat to say now,juz wan to cry out loud for e time being....

PAINTING. :-)
I JUST WISH THAT MY PARENTS N BRO ARE ALWAYS HEALTHY.
IT'S JUST SO SIMPLE.
i love SINGING! cause i'm SINGaporean.